We each have these critical moments that we reach in our lives. Sometimes, for some, it occurs earlier than later. For others...it takes years upon years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a point where we all truly know, deep inside the deepest part of our hearts, that things must change. This want for change is like nothing you've experienced before. There is a different type of energy to it. There's a different feeling to it altogether.
You have to do the most frightening thing there is - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. In the end, I'll never forget that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It was not the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning, a week later, it reached its lowest point. Definitely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I awakened the next day staring at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could take the time to reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
Just as importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my entire life, and to finally let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Pain was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did that. I started writing. I started being truthful about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking kind of agony which will shock you to death. It frightens you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal unbelievable amounts of strength in going to the place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this type of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be destroyed, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the great opportunity to build it back better. Want love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's hindering you. You're going to have to dive deep down into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armour. No weapon. No type of effort to rise above it.
You need to go in defenseless and exposed.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest adventure you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life really begins.
You have to do the most frightening thing there is - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I remember standing in that loft, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. In the end, I'll never forget that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It was not the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning, a week later, it reached its lowest point. Definitely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I awakened the next day staring at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could take the time to reconstruct my whole world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
Just as importantly, I would really need burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be fully responsible for my entire life, and to finally let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Pain was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did that. I started writing. I started being truthful about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking kind of agony which will shock you to death. It frightens you because it makes you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, that's where your strength is. There's unthinkable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal unbelievable amounts of strength in going to the place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this type of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the type of feeling that you know that everything around you could be destroyed, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Do not ever be frightened to let everything go for the great opportunity to build it back better. Want love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's hindering you. You're going to have to dive deep down into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No armour. No weapon. No type of effort to rise above it.
You need to go in defenseless and exposed.
You'll come out. You can cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I would never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest adventure you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life really begins.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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