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mercredi 24 juin 2015

How To End Codependency In Our Relationships

By Ruthie Calderon


A person may have grown up inter-reliant. This may center upon the influence of a narcissistic or alcoholic parent. It may have led to a string of narcissistic relationships that form later in life. Such a persons identity evolves through who they are to others and what they can give them. These points to a person living a life of codependency. To help a person get out of this rut, a number of steps need taking. These would help the person dig down and reveal their beautiful, authentic and true self.

Take the first step by creating a relationship with yourself. Julia Roberts has a part in (Runaway Bride) where in one scene she makes a major decision. She will never again let her former partners choose her eggs for her. She will henceforth choose what she likes. You need to focus on your likes, dislikes and preferences. You need to discover everything regarding what gives you happiness or unhappiness. Take time to discover healthy ways to cope or deal with things that give you unhappiness.

It is crucial that we establish personal boundaries. The importance in this lies in enabling us to stop people pleasing. Fundamental personal boundaries forms include learning how to say no and precisely where to draw the line. A superb example is refusing to allow someone convince us to perform an act we do not wish. This is irrespective of this person manipulating us using negative comments. Our relationships will improve once we enforce our boundaries this way.

Trusting and listening to our own feelings and intuition is strategic. We need to observe what are our exact thoughts and feelings. We need to remind ourselves that it is allowable to make our own judgements and form our own opinions.

You need to honor your intentions and needs. Co-dependent personalities tend to make their decisions based on other peoples needs rather than for their own betterment. This means you will never fearlessly utter any word. In this regard, you need to understand your motives and ideas rather than allow someone else define these for you. It certainly helps in developing your self-respect and confidence, which means it becomes easier for you to communicate your needs to everybody.

Creating a positive space is an important step. This is through realizing the difference between owning other peoples problems and giving such people support. This realization is the beginning of the creation of ones own positive space. It helps identify boundaries where other peoples end and others begin.

Finally, you have to make a commitment to uplift your own self-confidence and esteem. Existing your co-dependent status will take time and steadfastness. The more you know who you are and what you want, the less people will upset you. A year may be spent making mistakes. Another discovering them and learning from them. A third involves practicing loving yourself. The fourth may involve accepting, awareness and solidification of your inner loving kindness.

In the end, people are responsible for their own happiness. What is created in themselves can later be skilfully imparted to others. In this vibrant and dynamic world, self-love makes us all stronger.




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